Cindom.hu

Hollywood… possible

We all think that what we see in Hollywood movies are completely impossible. It has been proved otherwise.

Party time… Waiting… Checking the time every minute… She’s still not here… She’s not coming… Hours passing… She’s still not here… Getting a bad mood… If she won’t be here… She’s not here… She hasn’t come… On the edge of depression… Friends trying to cheer me up… No success…

Then suddenly I see her pass the corridor with someone. She was there. They say goodbye to eachother and she enters the party. Almost couldn’t believe it. Now I can finally talk to her. She’s in there. Or did I just imagine it? Let’s go and check it out. She’s not there… All right… Let’s take a brief walk in the rain.

“Jim, did you see anyone leave in the last 5 minutes?”
“Yeah, a girl just left.”
“Thanks, Jim!”

I started to run. Just as I was there. I started to run in the cold night. It was raining heavily. I only had a t-shirt on, no sweater or coat. But it didn’t seem to matter. I just ran. If it’s she, I have to talk to her.

I ran. I reached the end of the street. Took a look around. No sign of her. She must have gone this way. I started to run again. I saw a red umbrella in the distance taking a turn to the left. It must be her. I ran as fast as I could.

When I reached that street. I could finally see her. She was sitting there in the bus stop with her red umbrella. I walked to her, took a seat by her. I was all wet as we started to talk. And FINALLY…. I told her. Told her that I fell in love with her…
And the rest… let it be unrevealed…

(There and) Back again

Back again where it all began. “Walking down the street [...] under the arches of trees”…

Today I was walking the same street at night. And I met someone… Someone I haven’t met for a very long time…

I was walking there in the darkness. I heard only the echo of my footsteps. It was so calm. So quiet. Not even the barking of that dog could shatter the mirror of silence. The mirror somehow seem to have reflected it. Strange. Then I saw him in the shadows. I couldn’t make his face out, I saw only his silhouette, but still I know it was him. It was good to meet him again as I feared that I couldn’t find him anymore.

It was just a brief encounter but now I know that he’s out there somewhere wanting to emerge from the shadows. I intend to help him to do so. And you know what? There was only one thing missing when I saw him… Someone  was missing who could also hear the echo of my footsteps… Someone, who could grab his arm, pull him close, not releasing him from the grip of her hug.

That shadow-figure…  He… he was Me.

Lost…

Something has been lost for a very long time. And I couldn’t see that it’s lost. I just realized that something’s not right. Then I started to think…

I thought it was lost. Maybe not even existed… Then as these thoughts passed my mind I started to look for it. Believe it or not I already found a little piece of it. I could shed some light on a fragment of the dark silhouette. Maybe over time I’ll find a way to bring other parts to the light as well..

Some people say that one shouldn’t look back to the past. I say they’re wrong. It’s true that we’re not our past, but still it defines the core of our identity. Everyone should look back once in a while and face it.

It’s even stranger when the past comes to you and faces you. It’s the irony of fate. When fate brings your past to you, places a mirror in front of your face to see… And I saw. I saw my past and that made me face it much-much more easily. And I’m happy I did it. My heart is lighter now, one of the many heavy burdens is gone. At least most of it. Like scars, these burdens go away with time, but they never really disappear. There’ll always be a reminder.

Now that I have taken the first steps towards the light I feel I have to face more of my past. It’s a challange, a test I’m willing to take. And maybe at the end, at the end of the tunnel I will finally be able to step out to the light.

The Void

So cold… I’m cold, alone in the dark. Nobody to warm me up, not even a little bit. My heart is empty, only my frozen tears are inside, nothing else. I await dawn, the time when the sun rises, banishing the ethernal darkness around me, warming me and my heart up, melting the glacier that has been it’s prison for far too long. But I don’t yet see the light on the horizon. Was that the light I saw a few days ago, I wonder… I’m not sure I can tell anymore when I see the sun. I’m blind.

The Last

The summer has come, and I hope will never pass. Finally, on this last day we could enjoy the company of eachother. The face has become complete. Yesterday I already could see the signs of it, but today it’s complete. Loveable, pretty and sweet. Old hatereds have vanished. But I saw some new faces as well. Faces I always knew existed, but never saw. I met new, interesting people.

I will miss you. Some of you. It’s a shame we wasted all that precious time. I thought that this will be the final goodbye, but I couldn’t have been worse. There is a hole in my chest, a place for you all. We shall meet again, and all the unspoken words shall be told and the hole shall be filled at last.

“A perfect moment in time”

At the end of all things… At the edge of a new beggining… the beggining of a whole new world.

A moment without all the most important elements of an imaginary perfect moment can still be perfect. Walking down the street at night all alone, in the darkness of night, under the arches of trees, starring at the stars, the light of the lamps of the street… and thinking. Thinking about the various memories of the day. The sad moments of saying goodbye… the words of people, who taught you what you know… the final words… the end of an “Era”. Thinking about what you’ve gained, what you lost. The first and only true feelings of someone, who cared about you, even though it was never revealed to the public.

Would you imagine a perfect moment to be like this? Well, I wouldn’t. But still it was. Wondering… This was a day, when I saw new faces of people I thought I knew. I won’t easily forget how the other face was revealed. An almost loveable face of someone I learned to hate during the past years. I never would have imagined that I’d make such an offer to this person. I never would have imagined that this person would ever say that to me. I almost forgot every hard moment I was given by this person.

This moment really was perfect. I really felt, that Life is Wonderful.

And suddenly… a terrible noise pierced through the veil of silence and toughts… A street-sweeper crossed the road destroying this perfect moment.

It is a shame how fragile are perfect moments. By the few minutes I got home I forgot the words, the adequate words to describe it. I remember every second of it, it’s here in my head, but I can’t get it to the surface again. It’s as if it has gone. Maybe it’s no longer in my head. It has moved to my heart. I can’t tell… I can’t tell any more.